Monday, March 24, 2008

Just a couple more Easter pics






This is the first year we haven't traveled to Atlanta to spend Easter with Grandma Kim and Grandpa Lee. On one hand, we were disappointed, but on the bright side, we finally got to attend the annual Easter egg hunt at our friend's Anglican church. We used to be faithful regulars at Little Hearts Storytime, until it started conflicting with mommy's Book Club. We were so happy to be able to spend our Saturday with my good friend Denise, her sister Danielle, and all the kids.

This was Jayce's second Easter egg hunt and he did very well. Jaina also helped him find eggs, so by the end, he had quite a basket-full. The weather was gorgeous, too, and we couldn't have asked for a better day to spend with our friends.

The only bump in the road came during the storytime that was organized before the hunt. I've just given up on Jayce sitting at any kind of storytime, church or library. Its not like I can bribe him with "just sit for 5 minutes and then we'll stand up and sing a song" or even threaten him "If you don't sit in mommy's lap, we'll have to leave". I know now that Jayce's receptive language is severely lacking. Out of those last two sentences, he probably heard and understood the word "sit". In which he would have replied, "all gone sit?" and that would have been the end of it.

Honestly, I don't mind following him around and letting him wander. Its just all the stuff he tries to get into. I need to learn to let some stuff go. But see... a lot of times he's not hurting anything (opening and closing the door, pushing the button on the water fountain, etc) but these are all things that most parents don't let their child do. So it immediately sets Jayce apart because I am letting him repetitively push the power button on the vcr on and off.

So, this well meaning mom walked up to Jayce while I was sitting about 4 feet away from the situation. Jayce was pushing the button that turns the monitor on/off. It was an old computer, tucked away in the corner of the church's overflow room. I had already checked with my friend to make sure Jayce wouldn't hurt anything by pushing the buttons on it. "Oh no," she assured me. "That thing is so old, its no big deal at all. No one even uses it anymore".

But this other mom had decided that Jayce shouldn't be playing with it. "No-no, sweetie, we don't need to be touching this. Let's go play with something else." I quickly got up and intervened. I said, "Hi, I'm his mom, and I'm okay with him playing with this." You can tell I caught her off guard because she stuttered and said, "OH! I was just looking for you" (um, no you weren't or you would have seen me sitting not even 4 feet from you). And I felt the need to say, "He doesn't understand what you just said." Which isn't totally 100% true. He knows what the word "NO" means. He doesn't use it in his every day language or to answer questions, but he knows that when we say "NO" it means, "Don't touch that". Actually, we prefer to use the word "STOP" with him and even have a stop sign card for a visual. We are slowly getting into the world of social stories and picture schedules because children with autism are more visually oriented.

So, anyway, back to my rambling. Why can't people just leave Jayce alone when we are out and about? We spend so much time at the hospital in therapy, and so much time doing sensory activities in our home, that when we are out in public, I am just about survival. If he's doing something strange and not hurting anybody, I call that success. And honestly I could care less if he opens and closes doors, as long as they aren't doors leading to the outside :) I've learned fast to pick my battles. Or else we'd never leave the house!

3 comments:

  1. I hear you about letting them get into somethings (like doors and buttons). My son is the same way. He is a curious 2 year old and wants to find out what happens when you push the fountain's button..over and over and over again. I've learn't now (since I've had my 3rd child) that I can't control everything and that my child isn't going to be perfect - although in a way they are perfect - perfectly innocent and beautiful. They don't care what the person beside them is going to say or do - or worry about what they are wearing. They just live life, exploring.

    We can learn from them!

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  2. Let me preface this by saying that I do not have special needs children. However, I do have 3 kids, all ages 3.5 and younger and I TOTALLY AGREE with you!

    I have a real problem with other parents intervening with my children over matters that are not harmful. I too think that you should "choose your battles" and while some moms choose every battle, I do not. On the other hand, if my kids is biting, pushing or harming another person, I would hope someone would intervene. The difference is, I'm usually only 4 feet away myself, and I stop it before it escalates to that level. Thanks for sharing. From the outside looking in, you are doing quite well. I applaud all parents of SN kids!

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  3. I agree with you, too many mom's and "never been a mother but will put my two cents in" people butt in. I just don't understand why they do it, especially if the child or children are not hurting anyone or themselves. I am sorry this world can be so insensitive. There are a few people in the world that make up for all the "rotten" ones. I am sorry you have to go through this. I think you are a terrific, patient, understanding and loving person. The people that have their negative "two cents" are in my opinion ignorant. I have a saying for those people "Those who know the LEAST argue the MOST". I found it on a Bazooka bubble gum wrapper :)

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