I've been thinking long and hard about this post for quite some time now. And every time I do, it has a different title in my head.
"You've got to be kidding me"
Remember this post?
I thought for sure I'd be announcing my pregnancy by September. I mean, its not like I had to even try for either of my pregnancies with Jayce and Jaina. Aren't I one of those women that you can just look at and get pregnant?
So, this sucks. And I'm running out of patience. I understand that in the grand scheme of things, 6 months isn't that long for a couple to not conceive. Its still considered normal and all that jazz. But I'd argue that it doesn't feel normal for me. And that's what's killing me.
I haven't really been talking about all the stuff that goes along with TTC on my blog. Not because I'm a private person (pshaw! I'll tell a stranger my life story in about 5 seconds flat!) or because I don't think anyone is interested (if no one was interested, there wouldn't be so many TTC blogs and Infertility forums on the internet!).
Its because I don't want to let everyone down month after month, like I'm let down. Once in a while, I'll comment on my parenting board or mention to a well-meaning friend who asks where I am at in my cycle. And people always get excited. "Maybe this is your month!" or "That's a great sign!" or "I can't wait until you can test!" I share their excitement enthusiastically and my hopes get raised just a little bit more. And then, my period inevitably comes. Or I get another negative on a pregnancy test. Then there are so many people I have to tell, again, that "no, this wasn't my month." That leads to all my friends (internet and IRL), finding the right words to say.
I hate putting you all in this position. I never know what to say when I find out someone has been trying for months or years to conceive. Or what to say when I discover that someone's had a miscarriage. What can you say that makes everyone feel better and doesn't sound trite?
So, unless I have some important news to report, like discovering some fertility issue that I may have or something, I'm just going to let this topic rest for now. I don't want this blog to turn into an Infertility Blog anymore than I want it to be an Autism Blog or a Photography Blog. This is just a small part of what's going on in my life.
Any and all advice is welcome, of course :) Just know that I have been charting, my cycles are extremely unpredictable, but I do believe I am ovulating, and I'm watching my luetal phase closely. Oh, and we've been having sex. I heard that helps things :)
And for now, I'll just keep on loving the two I have :)