Worn out

I'm not sure if my blog title is more for me....

or for Jayce:

This was the scene at my house around 5:30 PM tonight.

Ugh, the dreaded "too late in the day" nap.

I can't remember the last time Jayce has done this. He hasn't napped regularly since he was 2 and a half.

The poor guy was just plain worn out. We had a very frustrating day of running around for Kindergarten school registration. Although Jayce has been a student of this school district for 2 academic years, this is his first year at Jaina's school and we were treated to a mountain of "new student" paperwork. Jayce's patience level, not to mention mine, was taxed beyond repair by the time we actually got to meet his new teacher.

Our morning outing ended with Jayce getting over tired, demanding that I carry him around the school (he's 5 and 40 lbs, btw), and eventually just crumpling on the hallway floor outside his classroom, crying. Even after we got him to the car and got him home, he continued to tantrum for a full hour.

Call me crazy, but this does not bode well.

I would really really really love to believe that Jayce will be absolutely fine in Kindergarten come Monday. That he'll act just like any other typical 5 year old coming to Kindergarten for the first time.

But, I'm going to be honest. I don't. Call me a worry wort if you will, or one of those mothers that overreacts at the littlest thing. Unless you have a child with special circumstances, you just don't know how to explain away your worst fears. How do you ignore your mommy gut instinct, when its never failed you before?

Here's what I'm scared of...

-Jayce's attention span (or lack, there of).
-How he's going to handle the over 6 hour school day.
-Jayce getting tired (he just shuts down).
-Jayce questioning everything that is said and asked of him. Not only is this an extremely annoying trait of Jayce's, it can also be seen as disobedience.
-Jayce inappropriately getting into fellow classmate's personal space.
-Jayce not transitioning well from activity to activity.
-Jayce's stimming being seen as weird by classmates.
-Jayce's impulsivity with touching light switches and buttons.
-Jayce saying inappropriate words or phrases (such as atomically correct words or morbid topics)

More than anything, I do not want Jayce to be seen as a behavior problem. But how can he not be? I mean, that's the whole reason we have a team of behavioral therapists that come to our house each day. To work on inappropriate autistic behaviors and to teach him skills that he has a deficit in.

I can just hope and pray that my fears are totally unfounded. I'm going to send Jayce to his Kindergarten class on Monday full of confidence and high expectations of him. His SN teacher, psychologist, ST,  and classroom coordinator last Spring assured me that "he would be just fine in a regular classroom without support".

Now all there is to do is to wait and see.

I hope they're right.


  1. Jayce is so fun! But for a minute there, I didn't know if you were talking about Jayce or Brian...they sound so similar! LOL.

  2. It's a mommy's job to worry, so that's normal. Jayce might surprise you yet. :)

  3. Anonymous11:04 PM

    oh jess... i'll be thinking of you. the first day of anything is hard enough, but so many firsts for jayce right there. he looks so sweet napping there. good luck to all of you.

  4. Your blog is great. You seem like an amazing mother doing an amazing job. Thanks for sharing a bit of you, and for being such an inspiration!

  5. awww - that's such a cute pic of him napping. so peaceful with no worries in the world.

    back in england, there are special schools for autistic kids. i'm sure jayce is doing well with the help of the terapist but everything is a testing period and if he seems fine with the regular school then GREAT but if not (after some time), you can switch him to the special school.

    good luck!

    ~ash's mum

  6. Sweet sleeping baby angel-faced boy. ♥

    I want to say everything is going to be fine, Jess, and you know I share the same worries and trepidations. He'll adjust. His classmates will love him. He'll come home in love with his teacher and you'll be obsolete. LOL ;)

  7. While I don't claim to know your struggles as a mom to a child with autism, I could still totally relate to your list if concerns about Jayce's first day of school. I had a tinge of those same concerns when I sent Bailey to VBS this year. I talked to his teacher about his SPD in advance and fortunately, she was an elementary school teacher and had a clue what I was talking about. Concerns such as these are difficult at times to explain because there's nothing outwardly wrong with the child. They "look" totally normal on the outside. It's their actions that are often not understood by others. I pray your son's teacher has a warm and patient heart toward Jayce and she can redirect him in ways that will not draw unpleasant attention to him. Oh, and I loved the picture of your angel sleeping. So peaceful!

  8. Your valid (in my book) reasons for worry is evidence of your love, concern and devotion to Jayce.

    But like you, I'm optimistic that he'll do well! He has so much to look forward too and offer his classroom!

  9. We've experienced some of those too late in the day naps too.....they can throw off the schedule completely, but are needed.

    And I'm sending my toddler off to pre-school for the first time this fall. She's only going for 2 days a week for 2.5 hours at a time, but I share very similiar fears. I keep trying to tell myself that the teachers have seen it all, and they are prepared and will help the kiddos manage it.

    Best wishes, and I can't believe school is starting already!

  10. It's true, if you don't have a special needs child you can't understand the extent of the worries. I really hope he does well - I'll be thinking of you both.


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